I fear we have lost the plot. I really do. We now spend so much of the precious time we are alive watching other people live. We observe life happening to others. I think there is an element of education to observation; but at what point do we stop observing and become educated through our own lived experience? Where is this line drawn? Tools have been created to help limit screen time but like any tool that exists, it is there to assist; not resolve. It is up to us to break free.
They keep saying that we are in the midst of a global loneliness epidemic in a day and age where we have never been more connected. But is it really loneliness? I would argue that we are actually in an epidemic of a "paralysis" of sorts, spending more time in observation than actual living. We are watching others performing life with the observation device in hand. The living we do participate in so often involves recommendations, suggestions etc. In essence, how much of the living we are doing is actually a recreation of someone else's lived experience? When I really think about it, it actually makes me want to scream. Out loud. What are we doing?!
When social media first hit the scene it was (on the surface) truly about connecting with friends and family. Those connections may have led to meeting new people and broadening our horizons but for the most part it was all about connection. Then Instagram hit the scene and suddenly you could connect with others all around the world from the perspective of photography. A form of shared art. Even those silly food pictures we used to post in poor lighting and from bad angles held an element of inspiration and aspiration. When more professional photography hit the scene it was again another form of inspiration and aspiration. A new world was unlocked that gave us a lens into all sorts of interesting topics and avenues. A new form of shared art and possibilities for what you too could do.
Somehow it slowly evolved into a handheld version of reality tv. Opinions and politics infiltrated, video took over and with it came windows into worlds that offered no cinematic prowess or thought provoking content. We literally find ourselves watching videos of people performing the most mundane tasks of life. Cleaning their house, painting a room, getting dressed, performing "excellent" parenting...none of which is bad. It is literally just mindless entertainment. Life has taken this bizarre twist where people are performing life and we are wasting ours watching it. It makes William Shakespeare's words still ring true ~ "all the world's a stage". And our front row seats are now in our hands 24/7.
So where do we go from here? I am firmly convinced that at the end of the day all that any of us actually desire is to live a happy, fulfilled life. And yet I am also firmly convinced that many do not find it. That is a devastating reality. It is too easy to fall into the illusion of living rather than tasting life in the fullest capacities possible. We've been tricked into believing that life ~ a "good" life ~ naturally happens by following unwritten rules of managing your time here on Earth. That there are signals and mile markers that highlight the path to the "right" way. This is especially true when the mind is bound by the rules set by imprisoning dogma and theology.
Your lived experience is the most valuable asset you have. Let me say that again, Your Lived Experience Is The Most Valuable Asset You Have. You don't need a paid subscription or a course to teach you this. Your life has been teaching you this for free the whole time. It's just hard to see it when the idea of someone or something looming over you to shame, admonish, or hold you to impossible standards is telling you that you are wrong. Or that you've made mistakes. What are mistakes really? Essentially what we consider a mistake is just that we have learned something in an uncomfortable way. In a way we don't particularly care for. Or perhaps that someone else didn't care for and deflected back on us. You are supposed to change your mind and opinions. You are supposed to outgrow things and even people too. Your life is a constant evolution that is designed for just you. And the part no one talks about? You do not need a single person to stand in agreement with you. Your life is your own beautiful journey of peaks and valleys and you hold the narrative whether you believe it or not. Friend, I encourage you to not hand that script over to anyone else.
I am in my early 50's now and when I look back over my life I see an incredible journey that has led me to a life I actually wanted to live but for so long never recognized as even a possibility. A single mom at just 20 years old, I was still learning how to take care of myself let alone figure out how I was going to raise a child. Yet somehow, I kept moving my feet forward and life unfolded before me in peaks and valleys as it does with all of us. I've learned as I have come along that every step of my journey was part of a priceless education that was actually preparation for every step along the way. Crazy to think, huh? People have questioned me and my decisions and some have even told me I've been wrong and/or made mistakes. The only regrets I have? When I listened to someone else's voice instead of my own intuition or allowed someone else's opinion to matter. And yet, are they even regrets? The truth is, had I not experienced those moments of self doubt or people pleasing I wouldn't be so strongly rooted in my own resolve today. I wouldn't have the lived experience of my own truth. And that my friend, is worth more than anything this world could offer.
Be free because you already are free. You just have to believe it.
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