...until the rent is due. I heard someone talk about this topic on Tik Tok last week and it resonated with me. Shook me, really. I think it hit hard because it is a truth rarely considered. We are all creators at our core. We all also live in a world that requires money to just LIVE. There is no avoiding it. We create out of passion; but is passion enough when your very existence requires money to be earned just to survive? Monetization of passion is the ideal route to circumvent this inconvenient truth but when monetization enters the conversation, what happens to passion? Can passion remain authentic? Can passion and monetization even coexist harmoniously?
I would argue that they can but it is a delicate balance. I say this because the ability to create unencumbered by the need for the creation to produce income does something to the overall creative process. It gives it freedom. I can speak to this first hand. I started my vintage business as an outlet, a passion project if you will, where I could style and breathe new life into the treasures I found while thrifting and antiquing. My corporate job was more operational than creative and this provided a way to bring to life what I would envision in my mind. Of course, I dreamed of a day in the far off future where I would have grown it into a full time job that would keep me busy during "retirement". A swift ten years later, that opportunity came early. I took it.
Human nature will have us automatically assuming that the next chapter of the story after that climatic turning point results in a fairy tale existence. A dream life only bothered by the occasional distraction or slight inconvenience. We assume the grass is not only greener but it is a lush emerald carpet with perhaps a pesky dandelion popping up randomly here and there easily plucked away. We don't consider that often creativity is an escape from what we consider drudgery. I spent 5 days a week for almost 5 years sitting at a desk with my mind more focused on my shop than the tasks at hand. The creativity born during that time was free and unfettered because I received a paycheck that covered my living. I survived what was slowly eating away at my soul thanks to creativity.
Then the dynamic shifted. I no longer needed to "survive" my daily existence by escaping into creativity. But I did need that creativity to cover ALL of my living expenses. It was no longer an outlet that earned extra money. It was the only outlet for earning money. Suddenly creativity was something I was looking for and often felt like I was struggling to find. My passion was no longer a luxury; it became survival once again, just dressed in different clothing. What I created became considered. I created for an audience instead of for me. Does this look good? A question that seems innocent enough but under the surface is loaded with insecurity and ultimately people pleasing. When I had the security of income, I knew what looked good. I moved with a confidence that wasn't recognized for what it was. My confidence came from intuition and intuition is truth that stands without agreement.
I would be lying to you if I said I easily adapted to this new way of living. I still find myself struggling to find balance within. I had to change my perspective of what is actually enough in the tangible world of things and what it is that I really want in my life. Both the tangible and intangible needed to be considered. I have found that creativity now comes when I am not thinking of creativity at all. When I just move my feet in the present moment in whatever direction I am compelled to move them, I find everything always comes together. Intuition has become my guide, my North Star. I have also found that my peace, joy and contentment are non negotiable and priceless but all arrive when I trust my intuition. For me, my freedom to live each day according to my own will outweighs any tangible item this world has to offer. As (my favorite) Henry David Thoreau once said,
"The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run."
Over 200 years later that sentiment still rings true.
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